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Health & Medical Issues:
The Impact on Emotions & Relationships
Medical Issues & Emotional Intelligence
There are many thoughts and emotions a person experiences when they, or their loved one, is diagnosed with a serious medical condition. Sometimes, these thoughts and emotions can become overwhelming.
Before thoughts and emotions become unmanageable, it is important they be given direct attention. Otherwise, they can progress to a point of creating further problems in addition to the issue that triggered the thoughts and emotions.
Signs and signals indicating emotions are needing direct attention:
*Some of these signs can also be symptoms of health conditions such as thyroid problems, Parkinson’s Disease, allergies, anemia, infection, Diabetes, heart problems, fibromyalgia, medication side effects, and more. Be sure to keep your health practitioners informed about all of your symptoms.*
10 signs from your body saying something is wrong and the emotional pain must be addressed:
*Feeling restless *Excessive irritability or tension *Feeling spacey or having foggy thinking *Overwhelming sadness *A decreased interest in activities you use to enjoy *An increase or decrease in weight or appetite *An inability to sleep, or sleeping too much *Feelings of worthlessness *An inability to concentrate or make decisions *Loss of self confidence *Uncontrollable worry
Some reasons for emotions:
Similar to physical pain, sometimes you know why you have the emotional pain. Sometimes you need to talk with a someone to figure out where the emotion is coming from, what message it is sending you, and what to do about it. Think about how physical pain sends messages. If you have a pain in your bones, your body may be telling you that you have arthritis or bone cancer. If you fall and your ankle hurts, your body may be telling you that you sprained your ankle. You have to use objective thinking, and possibly, professional advice, to understand the pain and to decide how to address it. In a similar way, emotions tell us about our internal environment beyond the physical. For example, if you find out you have a medical problem, or someone you love has a serious disease, you will have emotions telling you about your internal reaction. It is normal to feel a variety of emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, or confusion. Similarly, you may notice emotional relief if you find effective treatments for relieving a medical condition. If you are thinking, “It is sad that I have a decline in the amount of control I have over my physical movement,” it is natural and normal to feel grief about the decline in physical control.
It is normal to have emotions and not know why you are experiencing the emotions. If this is the case, take time to discover what is underlying your emotions. It may be obvious, or it could be that the emotion is built upon an accumulation of several existing emotions. For example, anger can manifest from a build-up of emotions such as fear, shame, disappointment, and other emotions.
Thoughts and emotions are connected:
Our thoughts lead us to our emotions. For example, it is normal to think, “I don’t know what will happen to my body over the next couple of years.” Thinking this could bring about feelings of insecurity. Thoughts set the emotions. Think of a thermometer and a thermostat. You set the thermostat. You read the thermometer. Thoughts are like the thermostat. Emotions are like the thermometer. Thoughts and beliefs set the emotional temperature. Our thoughts create our emotions. Thus, it is important to choose thoughts wisely.
Sometimes thoughts about a problem can become more extreme than the actual situation. Thoughts that are too extreme for the situation are never the thoughts to act on. If you don’t know whether your thoughts are too extreme, ask someone you trust. Extreme thoughts can create overwhelming emotions. An example of an extreme thought is, “Something awful will probably happen to me over the next few months, and so what is the point of doing anything anyway?” If this is the thought, it could prompt you to emotions of hopelessness and helplessness.
When emotions feel like more than you can handle, when you feel overwhelmed, it is important to figure out what thoughts are bringing on these feelings. Examples of thoughts that can bring overwhelming feelings are, “I am too much of a burden for others,” or “No one can help me,” or “I am going to lose all my friends,” or “If people don’t understand how I feel, they can’t help me,” or “I am less of a person than I use to be,” or “If I keep this a secret, it will go away.” These thoughts, while not uncommon, can create overwhelming feelings of depression and anxiety. If left unresolved, these thoughts can lead to withdrawal and isolation from the very people who are needed for support.
Some ways to manage emotions:
Emotions almost never tell us what to do to feel better. It is important to remember that emotions tell us whether something is going wrong, or going well, or healing, But emotions do NOT tell us WHAT is wrong, WHAT is going well, or WHAT TO DO. It is important to use thoughts, not emotions, to understand situations. Then choose responses and actions which are thought driven, and not emotionally driven.
Behaviors and decisions which evolve from emotions alone tend to be reactive, rather than intentional to, and supportive of your purposes and goals. If you act on emotions as though they can inform you of what to do, you might do the opposite of what is best for you. For example, you might withdraw from the very people who are supportive.
It is normal to feel sad or stressed if you are faced with a health challenge, or if someone you love is. These emotions signal to you what is happening inside of yourself. When these emotions are used wisely, they may prompt you to THINK about what actions may help, what tentative plans to have, and how to plan ahead to solve potential issues which may arise later. Whatever your emotions are, it is important to talk with trusted family and friends about the emotions, so people know how to support you.
If your emotions are overwhelming to you, talk with a therapist or with someone who can help you understand where your emotions are originating from. Are the emotions accurate to the situation, or are they made from extreme thoughts that do not match the situation? It is important to learn ways to be more in control of your thoughts, your emotions, and your behaviors in the situation.
As you go through changes in your physical condition, and other life situations, it may be difficult for other people to understand some of the changes you are making. People may give you advice you do not want. Or, you may get conflicting advice from people who care and want to help. Let people know what advice you want, what you do not want, and how you feel. The more you communicate your thoughts, emotions, and choices, the stronger your relationships will become.
Sometimes, the problem causing depression or anxiety is coming from within in a relationship. Relationships are constantly changing, as each person is always changing. Change can cause anxiety.
If it seems a family member is withdrawing from you, learn which areas of the relationship you can work on, and which areas are outside of your control. It can be difficult to accept some changes people close to you make, whether the changes are due to health issues, or to other life transitions. It can be difficult to know when to offer advice and give suggestions. Discussing thoughts and feelings can not only clear up this confusion and anxiety, but discussion can also help the relationship become closer and more supportive.
In Summary:
Be aware of your emotions. They are clues to you about your thoughts, and about the situations you are in. If emotions seem overwhelming, it may be that a change is necessary in the way you are thinking about things, in the situation you are in, or both. Be sure not to ignore your emotions, as they are healthy ways your body provides important information to you. Remember, there are some things that are within your control to change, and there are some things that are not. It is important to know the difference so you know where your power lies. If you are unclear about what you can control, or about what may be a helpful change to make in your thoughts, your communication, or your relationships, talk with a therapist or someone who can help you make these decisions.
Please note: no client-therapist relationship is implied or exists by virtue of your visiting this website or these videos.
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